New Clothes

For so long I convinced myself
Utah was the problem;
The plague I was forced to reside.

But I find myself showing off
an outfit to her--
Full-well knowing she will
tilt her head and condemn me with her eyes.

Knowing her words will hurt me.
Thinking I can withstand her arrows.
and
Knowing I cannot.

Forced to live in an innocent apartment:
Packed with sealed cupboards
and minds
against anything contrary.

I lock my door more often than ever.
My music, wardrobe, mindset
an unwelcome guest.

My life a rare bird
Grounded by progressively-placed
cords
Trying harder to fly with each added restriction.

Becoming further and deeper lost
Come Dusk.